Monday, 25 January 2010
Teritorial
Have you ever noticed how people seemingly never talk to you? You may think well why shouldn't they, i'm great! But everyone is pretty much the same. Afraid of change, unable to try new things, don't want to look into the unknown. The idea of 'clicks' in the social spectrum have merely formed due to peoples' comfort zones, and i for one like my comfort zone, A LOT. But there are times i feel less popular or not having people converse with me, yes maybe being in the 'lower' social satus dictates the matter, but the matter of fact is that 'higher' status don't open up to you either. Sure they are louder and more foward at times but they never instigate a conversation. Why? Because they are just the same as you. Yes it is annoying in the world of communication, that people "don't" communicate. For example facebook, how many of your hundreds of friends do you actually talk to? Out of the say 300 friends i have only 1 of them openly starts a conversation with me, anyone else and it is up to me. Pisses me off? Yes it does. Why didn't you like our previous conversations...i think you did. Teritory what's mine, isn't yours! Demonstrated perfectly in the classroom when you decide to sit somewhere different, all hell breaks loose as you are not meant to be there. Everyone is equal but no-one wants to accept it.
Friday, 9 January 2009
Step Up
i have just got back from doing something ive bin dreaming of doing. i am on a high. a buzz of happiness. i have never been so happy. it is quite hard to describe how i feel right now. i feel more fulfilled than i would after sex, thats how good its is.
ur all probs wondering wat it is that ive gone and done. well im not going to say. only two people know, and they know who they are.
i do urge u all to step up and go do something uve always wanted to do. no matter what. its the best feeling ever. do it, do it now! (thats wat she said lol)
ur all probs wondering wat it is that ive gone and done. well im not going to say. only two people know, and they know who they are.
i do urge u all to step up and go do something uve always wanted to do. no matter what. its the best feeling ever. do it, do it now! (thats wat she said lol)
Saturday, 3 January 2009
"Naomi" or "She Out Of My League"
for the first time in my life i have written a song, in which the lyrics i actually like. and for that matter i waish to share them with u. tho im dont know wat to call the song. im stuck between "shes out of my league" or to name it after the girl who inspired the song "naomi" but yes here are the lyrics, dont know wat the presentation is gunna look like but still.
She has the looks of a model, and the pictures to prove it.
Partys most night, so she knows hows to move it.
Lets her hair down, she definately knows how to lose it.
With loads of guys around her, bet she knows how to do it.
But what does that matter, how does it help me.
As an on looker, will she ever here my plee.
Wanting to ask her out, maybe go get some coffee.
Or even expand, and go see a movie.
But why would she care, i'm not even her type.
I've written this song, instead of having a good fight.
It's like giving her red wine, wen you know she likes white.
It's that kind of situation, i have no right.
So the way she moves her hips, its always a big tease.
And spending time with her, would just clearly please.
But its such a shame, i know that it cant be.
As i've come to the conclusion, that shes out of my league.
(then finish of with some "la la la"s)
i am thining of putting a chorus in, but for once i dont know how to get into one.
oh and lesley if uve read this, ive posted this at 11:45am, theres a funny timeing system lol
She has the looks of a model, and the pictures to prove it.
Partys most night, so she knows hows to move it.
Lets her hair down, she definately knows how to lose it.
With loads of guys around her, bet she knows how to do it.
But what does that matter, how does it help me.
As an on looker, will she ever here my plee.
Wanting to ask her out, maybe go get some coffee.
Or even expand, and go see a movie.
But why would she care, i'm not even her type.
I've written this song, instead of having a good fight.
It's like giving her red wine, wen you know she likes white.
It's that kind of situation, i have no right.
So the way she moves her hips, its always a big tease.
And spending time with her, would just clearly please.
But its such a shame, i know that it cant be.
As i've come to the conclusion, that shes out of my league.
(then finish of with some "la la la"s)
i am thining of putting a chorus in, but for once i dont know how to get into one.
oh and lesley if uve read this, ive posted this at 11:45am, theres a funny timeing system lol
Thursday, 1 January 2009
New Year and Insignificance
well it is 2009. i bet u ill write 2008 on the exam papers.
i did end up doing something last year. i went out with wat in a sense is my second family, and we saw australia. no not the county, the movie. it was the best movie of 2008 for me (as it was the one that stood out the most "brackets again" and the fact that i cant remember any other movies) sure i cried but that shows how amazing it was. its got everything, action for the boys and hue jackmans chest for the ladies.
afterwards we went across the road to franky and bennys. i was so hungry i ate a 10 inche margarita in like 5 mins, plus a bowl of chips and watever was going on anybody elses plates. then i had desert.
then headed back home to have a few drinks and exchange some texts. also to wat was a rather funny talk with my uncle who was back in birmingham for the new year, and he had got absolutly smashed. wen he spoke it was all slurred, a typical drunk mans voice.
insignificant, we can all feel insignificant locally and globally. i mean while quite alot of people were out partying i was at home, i felt insignificant. but then out whole island is insignificant, we celebrated the new year, but little do we notice, australia has already been in the new year for hours.
new years resolutions, they are all personal challenges, yes ive challenged myself to something this year. but those personal changes are insignificant to the world. as we lead our insignificant lives, complaing, loving, moving, enjoying, we are not making any great deal effect to the world. in hide sight we are therefore all selfish. wat will it take for someone to do something significant. now us as individuals cant do anything. but those individuals who have the power to do something, never do anything. again they focus on their own problems. wat about africa? wen will their debt be wiped? not like we need the money, the rich bastards just want more money. for christmas tom cruise spents thousands and thousands of pounds on wrapping paper and little ornaments to go on top of his presents to katy holmes. wat a selfish act i say. that money cud have been given to a town in africa and revitalised it, and with money to spare.
oh the credit crunch, we all gunna die. no we are not. no we are all gunnna be fine. people in africa have been in serious trouble for years. and once a year we give them some money which they then have to give straight back to us. NO! wipe the debts and watch how a good country it becomes.
now im only one insignificant person, i cant do much. im not asking for us to change the world, but for us all to stop complaining about our "crappy" lives. they are not crappy they are way better than u think.
i would change the world, but i wudnt know where to start, as so much of it needs changing.
i did end up doing something last year. i went out with wat in a sense is my second family, and we saw australia. no not the county, the movie. it was the best movie of 2008 for me (as it was the one that stood out the most "brackets again" and the fact that i cant remember any other movies) sure i cried but that shows how amazing it was. its got everything, action for the boys and hue jackmans chest for the ladies.
afterwards we went across the road to franky and bennys. i was so hungry i ate a 10 inche margarita in like 5 mins, plus a bowl of chips and watever was going on anybody elses plates. then i had desert.
then headed back home to have a few drinks and exchange some texts. also to wat was a rather funny talk with my uncle who was back in birmingham for the new year, and he had got absolutly smashed. wen he spoke it was all slurred, a typical drunk mans voice.
insignificant, we can all feel insignificant locally and globally. i mean while quite alot of people were out partying i was at home, i felt insignificant. but then out whole island is insignificant, we celebrated the new year, but little do we notice, australia has already been in the new year for hours.
new years resolutions, they are all personal challenges, yes ive challenged myself to something this year. but those personal changes are insignificant to the world. as we lead our insignificant lives, complaing, loving, moving, enjoying, we are not making any great deal effect to the world. in hide sight we are therefore all selfish. wat will it take for someone to do something significant. now us as individuals cant do anything. but those individuals who have the power to do something, never do anything. again they focus on their own problems. wat about africa? wen will their debt be wiped? not like we need the money, the rich bastards just want more money. for christmas tom cruise spents thousands and thousands of pounds on wrapping paper and little ornaments to go on top of his presents to katy holmes. wat a selfish act i say. that money cud have been given to a town in africa and revitalised it, and with money to spare.
oh the credit crunch, we all gunna die. no we are not. no we are all gunnna be fine. people in africa have been in serious trouble for years. and once a year we give them some money which they then have to give straight back to us. NO! wipe the debts and watch how a good country it becomes.
now im only one insignificant person, i cant do much. im not asking for us to change the world, but for us all to stop complaining about our "crappy" lives. they are not crappy they are way better than u think.
i would change the world, but i wudnt know where to start, as so much of it needs changing.
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Skinny jeans
yes ive finally caught onto the cult that is 'the skinny jean'
i must say its a shock to the system wen u first put them on. the space u get from a normal jean is suddenly unheard of in the world of skinny jeans. though they are stretchy so i spose that makes up for it.
i sit here in my skinny jeans listening to the jonas brothers, because clothes have finally become part of my life. just as music did (hence the jonas brothers). clothes to me used to be just something i had to wear to go out in public, cuz it is forbidden to go out in the nude, its politically incorrect and frowned upon. but yes i am now more conscious of wat im wearing, all be it i dont know how to wear it, i just want to wear it. this means a whole new wardrobe hehe. but one step at a time.
i must say its a shock to the system wen u first put them on. the space u get from a normal jean is suddenly unheard of in the world of skinny jeans. though they are stretchy so i spose that makes up for it.
i sit here in my skinny jeans listening to the jonas brothers, because clothes have finally become part of my life. just as music did (hence the jonas brothers). clothes to me used to be just something i had to wear to go out in public, cuz it is forbidden to go out in the nude, its politically incorrect and frowned upon. but yes i am now more conscious of wat im wearing, all be it i dont know how to wear it, i just want to wear it. this means a whole new wardrobe hehe. but one step at a time.
Saturday, 27 December 2008
Boredness
ur probs thinkin its the 27th, a few days after christmas, how in the hell could someone be bored. yep there u sit reading the upand coming statement of 'calum's boredness'.
yes folks im bored. i hate it when im bored as i have no sense of purpose or idea of wat to do. nothing attracts me with the power to banish the boredom with the sword of enjoyment.
my boredom started early this morning 00:01 roughly. we had had guest over and now i was left on my own. i just sat in my room, spining in circle wondering if anything would kill the boredom. eventually i ended up organising my clothes in my draws. but yes i went to sleep after that.
but as i sit here on the floor, i am bored. i dont know why and i dont know how to cure it. so i thought lets write on my blog that should pass the time. i guess its just something that happens. trying to think of something clever to say has failed me.....oh god!
sitting here ripping cds onto the laptop has "entertained" me for the past 2 hours. but even its brilliance (i know watching a bar go up to 100% is at the top of everyone to-do lists) has worn off.
when u are bored u really do feel alone (wether thats just me i dont know). but yeah.....now im just struggling for words now.
im sorry but if u weigh it up the majority of my blogs are miserable complaining manescripts from a rubbish bin. i dont know why again, it just happens. well ive always seen it that u learn the most about a person through the bad times rather than the good times. cuz the good times are really just sailing with a good wind pushing u along (im sure roise will tell u the deffinition of that phrase) sure its extremely fun, yet its easy, no effort is required.
as for me right now ive decided i need to get out of the house. yet theres noone to go out with, and i dont want to go out on my own and cerment the fact that im a loner.
yes folks im bored. i hate it when im bored as i have no sense of purpose or idea of wat to do. nothing attracts me with the power to banish the boredom with the sword of enjoyment.
my boredom started early this morning 00:01 roughly. we had had guest over and now i was left on my own. i just sat in my room, spining in circle wondering if anything would kill the boredom. eventually i ended up organising my clothes in my draws. but yes i went to sleep after that.
but as i sit here on the floor, i am bored. i dont know why and i dont know how to cure it. so i thought lets write on my blog that should pass the time. i guess its just something that happens. trying to think of something clever to say has failed me.....oh god!
sitting here ripping cds onto the laptop has "entertained" me for the past 2 hours. but even its brilliance (i know watching a bar go up to 100% is at the top of everyone to-do lists) has worn off.
when u are bored u really do feel alone (wether thats just me i dont know). but yeah.....now im just struggling for words now.
im sorry but if u weigh it up the majority of my blogs are miserable complaining manescripts from a rubbish bin. i dont know why again, it just happens. well ive always seen it that u learn the most about a person through the bad times rather than the good times. cuz the good times are really just sailing with a good wind pushing u along (im sure roise will tell u the deffinition of that phrase) sure its extremely fun, yet its easy, no effort is required.
as for me right now ive decided i need to get out of the house. yet theres noone to go out with, and i dont want to go out on my own and cerment the fact that im a loner.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Sorry to keep you waiting
yes i know its been a while. yet even doing this now, i feel ive got nothing to say. spose xmas is something to mention. it really shows the difference between male and female. all this week the girls have been exchanging gifts and worst of all, some of those gifts have bin opened. grrrrr. ive had 3 cards woop woop. and im gunna get a present from an annoying person, you know who he is, those who know. lol.
i have come through the depression that seem to be around in my last blogs. yet i still seem to have no purpose. oh well its the hols soon so i can regroup and recover. recover mainly cuz my body's just given way, as ive been ill the past to day and even now into the present/future. i hope i increase in my illness as its carol service, the worst school event ever, even speech day beats it.
cough cou COUGH! excuse me. even being ill effects ur typing.
i have come through the depression that seem to be around in my last blogs. yet i still seem to have no purpose. oh well its the hols soon so i can regroup and recover. recover mainly cuz my body's just given way, as ive been ill the past to day and even now into the present/future. i hope i increase in my illness as its carol service, the worst school event ever, even speech day beats it.
cough cou COUGH! excuse me. even being ill effects ur typing.
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
What it is to be 17
the cloud of misery has blown over as ive found the happyness with wat i have. so it gunna be in my opinion a less interesting blog.
24th october is a very important date for all of u, as it is and was my birthday. ive reached the grand old age od 17. a day after roise but a day before sophie. its a bit of an anticlimax year wat with the credit crunch, we're so used to getting items on our birthday, but my main present was driving lessons and so the wasnt much to hold on to. then there was school and harvest festival. its a 4 year cycle for wen my bday is on a school day. wat a dissappointment. harvest festival was rubbish.
driving lessons. im a natural. my instructor says im 10 hours ahead of where i shud be. 3 lessons gone and i can do most things. 2moz shud be interesting as i shud be going onto dual carridgeways. cant wait untill i get my liscence.
i got alot of money for my bday and with it ive bought a new guitar. a yamaha apx700 in a sunburst colour. its a great guitar, electo acoustic. the only down side is the colour and how there are 2 different types of wood but it plays fantastically.
chocolate....mmmm......i love chocolate.
half term. its funny how the teacher say "oh we want u to relax and recover over the half term" yet they set us homework. how does that work. ive got to try and sit down and do some. but with fifa09 being so addictive and the xbox in general being distractive how am i gunna do it.
hsm3. now i dont care wat anybody else thinks...i loved it, maybe not to the exstent that meg does. but the best movie u will see all year is eagle eye. its so so so good. im not gunna go into the story as it will just spoil it for u.
strictly come dancing is always good. finally mark was voted out. john just doing his thang. god the female proffesional dancers are hot, im sad to see any of them go. oh how i long to be able to dance........and to wear pink seaquins.
24th october is a very important date for all of u, as it is and was my birthday. ive reached the grand old age od 17. a day after roise but a day before sophie. its a bit of an anticlimax year wat with the credit crunch, we're so used to getting items on our birthday, but my main present was driving lessons and so the wasnt much to hold on to. then there was school and harvest festival. its a 4 year cycle for wen my bday is on a school day. wat a dissappointment. harvest festival was rubbish.
driving lessons. im a natural. my instructor says im 10 hours ahead of where i shud be. 3 lessons gone and i can do most things. 2moz shud be interesting as i shud be going onto dual carridgeways. cant wait untill i get my liscence.
i got alot of money for my bday and with it ive bought a new guitar. a yamaha apx700 in a sunburst colour. its a great guitar, electo acoustic. the only down side is the colour and how there are 2 different types of wood but it plays fantastically.
chocolate....mmmm......i love chocolate.
half term. its funny how the teacher say "oh we want u to relax and recover over the half term" yet they set us homework. how does that work. ive got to try and sit down and do some. but with fifa09 being so addictive and the xbox in general being distractive how am i gunna do it.
hsm3. now i dont care wat anybody else thinks...i loved it, maybe not to the exstent that meg does. but the best movie u will see all year is eagle eye. its so so so good. im not gunna go into the story as it will just spoil it for u.
strictly come dancing is always good. finally mark was voted out. john just doing his thang. god the female proffesional dancers are hot, im sad to see any of them go. oh how i long to be able to dance........and to wear pink seaquins.
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Way away from here
we all belong somewhere. its just at at this time i, like many others dont know where we are, or where we are meant to be. if we are already where we are meant to be, then y? i just doesnt seem it, exploitation, insultation leads me to feel not how im meant to be.
wat am i fighting for, there must be something more. for all these words i sing, do you feel anything?
u arrogant, ignorant, selfish, insensitive people never seem to listen to wats said. u seem to always think its other people bar urselves causing the damage. wen really its all u! god how hard is it to realise!
way away from here i'll be. way away away so u can see. how it feels to be alone and not believe, anything.
its hard to believe wen u have nothing to believe in.
wat am i fighting for, there must be something more. for all these words i sing, do you feel anything?
u arrogant, ignorant, selfish, insensitive people never seem to listen to wats said. u seem to always think its other people bar urselves causing the damage. wen really its all u! god how hard is it to realise!
way away from here i'll be. way away away so u can see. how it feels to be alone and not believe, anything.
its hard to believe wen u have nothing to believe in.
Saturday, 18 October 2008
Asumptions
everything in the world has downsides.
never assume anything. never go into something thinking there is only one option or one side to a story. access all the options that are possible and come to a suitable explaination for the situation.
we are all so complicated. no-one is alike and there are so many possibilities. people are therefore left to formulate their own opinion of u. and most of the time they are wrong. hense all the problems between people. u can never assume wat some one is like or wat they are going to do. y cant life just be simple where everyone is the same, there are no emotions and therefore no problems. sure we'ed be "robots" but then atleast there would be no problems. apart from wen we need oiling.
life should be simlple, yet its not. we all have to live with the consequences of being caught up in the "web" of society. society is broken down in any given eexample into a hierachy. its not fair. take school for example, theres the "cool" boys, who think they are exempt from the rules. the "pretty" girls who have no time for "lower" guys the the society. the "lower" guys are then in an annoying situation, where the "pretty" girls wont give them a fair shot. our common room has split "west side" and "east side". the "cool side" and the "lower side". y cant everyone be equal. we start of equal when we are young, everyone wants to play with everyone. but then the girls "grow up" and feel they are too good for those boys who are really quite frankly better than those who the "pretty" girls chose to hang out with.
wats the point in anything. one way or another society comes back to kick u in the ass.
never assume anything. never go into something thinking there is only one option or one side to a story. access all the options that are possible and come to a suitable explaination for the situation.
we are all so complicated. no-one is alike and there are so many possibilities. people are therefore left to formulate their own opinion of u. and most of the time they are wrong. hense all the problems between people. u can never assume wat some one is like or wat they are going to do. y cant life just be simple where everyone is the same, there are no emotions and therefore no problems. sure we'ed be "robots" but then atleast there would be no problems. apart from wen we need oiling.
life should be simlple, yet its not. we all have to live with the consequences of being caught up in the "web" of society. society is broken down in any given eexample into a hierachy. its not fair. take school for example, theres the "cool" boys, who think they are exempt from the rules. the "pretty" girls who have no time for "lower" guys the the society. the "lower" guys are then in an annoying situation, where the "pretty" girls wont give them a fair shot. our common room has split "west side" and "east side". the "cool side" and the "lower side". y cant everyone be equal. we start of equal when we are young, everyone wants to play with everyone. but then the girls "grow up" and feel they are too good for those boys who are really quite frankly better than those who the "pretty" girls chose to hang out with.
wats the point in anything. one way or another society comes back to kick u in the ass.
Friday, 17 October 2008
Facts
u'll find that wen u stop caring everthing is so much easier.
grinning through gritted teeth has to be the hardest thing anyone can do.
luck. there is no luck in life just serious probability. i feel sorry for people who rely on luck. "see a penny pick it up, and on that day u'll have good luck" sorry but thats a load of rubbish. the odds are against u in life, a system, wenever u make a break through, theres always a probability barrier waiting for u to run into.
there are no second chances. if u lose it or make a mistake u live with the consequences. u only have one life, but with so many options to choose, be sure to make the right descisions and u'll hopefully be fine. but if u dont be sure to find a way of enjoying or find some kind of comfort on the path u are heading down.
stand up for wat u believe in. dont be pushed over. if somethings not right say so, u will be in the right, even if people say u arent, because most of the time people are so far up eachothers arses that they cant see the truth. all they can see is the crappy lives they are living. but to them thats seems the right way to live, but it clearly isnt.
grinning through gritted teeth has to be the hardest thing anyone can do.
luck. there is no luck in life just serious probability. i feel sorry for people who rely on luck. "see a penny pick it up, and on that day u'll have good luck" sorry but thats a load of rubbish. the odds are against u in life, a system, wenever u make a break through, theres always a probability barrier waiting for u to run into.
there are no second chances. if u lose it or make a mistake u live with the consequences. u only have one life, but with so many options to choose, be sure to make the right descisions and u'll hopefully be fine. but if u dont be sure to find a way of enjoying or find some kind of comfort on the path u are heading down.
stand up for wat u believe in. dont be pushed over. if somethings not right say so, u will be in the right, even if people say u arent, because most of the time people are so far up eachothers arses that they cant see the truth. all they can see is the crappy lives they are living. but to them thats seems the right way to live, but it clearly isnt.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Technicalities
ok then this is the official launch of my blooging career. my first attempt was just a template. but to anyone just reading this they may only see it as the first one to my whole profile, well thats because i deleted it as it doesnt stand up to the fricking awesome-ness of my blogs from now on.
well lets see, well type and read but i wont go on about technicallities....though that is a complete lie as i always look for the technicalities in things.
if jesus stole ur baby, wat wud u do? i for one wud go up there and kick him where it hurts and male species, real or make-believe. im his god for saken nuts!
pump it louder! pump it louder! seems to be the only thing to be happening on the "other side" (of the common room) oh yh lets bring in an amp and make everyone deaf. great idea guys, i congratulate u....with the back of my hand.
theres only some much one person can do or take. we are all sponges (meterphorically speaking of course, though there are a small minority of absolute sissys out there) but yh sponges...theres only so much u can absorb. there does come a point wen u cant do anymore and u start to reflect the "water" and let wat u once held out everywhere.
love is noise, love is pain, love is this blues that im singing again. but also love is blind. u dont realise it but everything that goes on around u, u see in a different percecptive. watever people try to tell u, u never seem to listen. especially if its about the person u "love"....ur feeling create a screening for the truth. stupid feelings, y do we even have them, they create so much pain and misery, sure u can argue they also give u happyness, but come off it most of the time no-one is ever happy, theres always something to take u away from the light u were heading to.
never think ur life is sorted cuz there will always be something to spoil ur party
well lets see, well type and read but i wont go on about technicallities....though that is a complete lie as i always look for the technicalities in things.
if jesus stole ur baby, wat wud u do? i for one wud go up there and kick him where it hurts and male species, real or make-believe. im his god for saken nuts!
pump it louder! pump it louder! seems to be the only thing to be happening on the "other side" (of the common room) oh yh lets bring in an amp and make everyone deaf. great idea guys, i congratulate u....with the back of my hand.
theres only some much one person can do or take. we are all sponges (meterphorically speaking of course, though there are a small minority of absolute sissys out there) but yh sponges...theres only so much u can absorb. there does come a point wen u cant do anymore and u start to reflect the "water" and let wat u once held out everywhere.
love is noise, love is pain, love is this blues that im singing again. but also love is blind. u dont realise it but everything that goes on around u, u see in a different percecptive. watever people try to tell u, u never seem to listen. especially if its about the person u "love"....ur feeling create a screening for the truth. stupid feelings, y do we even have them, they create so much pain and misery, sure u can argue they also give u happyness, but come off it most of the time no-one is ever happy, theres always something to take u away from the light u were heading to.
never think ur life is sorted cuz there will always be something to spoil ur party
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